“Because in the end you won’t remember the time you spent working in your office or mowing the lawn. So go climb that mountain.” -Jack Kerouac
The fall of 2015 was amazing. I was doing entire portrait sessions on my own. I was using advanced lighting techniques. I had a newly inspired outlook on photography. I worked almost every evening that season either shooting or editing. My clients were shaking my hand at the end of their session with HUGE grins on their faces.
On top of all my client work, I began to prepare for an art show I had signed up for at a local bar. I was consumed by it. So many nights I woke up from dreams where I had concepts for photos and images. Some days I felt as if I was going insane.
In the past Ashley and I held several art shows, however this was my first solo show. I did all the shooting and editing while Ashley was pursuing her schooling.
I did a series of band posters. I used a combination of film, digital, along with Photoshop to create these.
For years I have been creating images in Photoshop using layers of multiple images. These were a combination of film and digital.
I wanted to be an “anti-artist”. Not in the sense that I was mocking art, but rather mocking the artist who takes himself too seriously. I didn’t take myself seriously at all. I had a blast creating these images.
The show was great. I felt like a legit artist for the first time ever. I believe that in order to truly become an artist, you have to become vulnerable. I did that and I laughed about it.
Then. All at once. It was over. Winter. Everything stopped.
As an artist I go through periods of ups and downs. I know who I am behind a camera. It’s how I see the world. It’s how I define myself. But in my downtime, I get lost.
I began to learn something about myself. Something about my personality. I need to work. I need a mountain to climb. I am driven by nature and I am not happy standing still. This was a very powerful realization. At 30 years old I was a late bloomer. I spent the decade of my 20’s building a business just to turn my back on it. I thought I wanted to have a normal life.
I was wrong.