I must have missed the chapter in the parenting book where the pregnant lady walks loops around the house whilst responding “no” to a barrage of phone calls & texts. While the past nine months have felt like a decade, the past week has felt like a century. It’s like riding a yoga ball to the highest crest of the roller coaster and then stopping there to bounce for infinity. At any moment, a switch could flip, and we’ll go gyrating off into parenthood like a huge inflatable pinball. In the meantime, I guess we’ll watch all eleven Star Wars movies and the entire “How I Met Your Mother” series; all while Ashley eats a rainbow collection of Larabars, all the spicy food she can find, and a whole pineapple—bouncing. What started out as a meme has effectively become our new mode of being. Everyone says just wait—but nobody warned us about the wait.