My Story Part 5

Originally Published October 30th, 2016

“Because in the end you won’t remember the time you spent working in your office or mowing the lawn. So go climb that mountain.” -Jack Kerouac

The fall of 2015 was amazing. I was doing entire portrait sessions on my own. I was using advanced lighting techniques. I had a newly inspired outlook on photography. I worked almost every evening that season either shooting or editing. My clients were shaking my hand at the end of their session with HUGE grins on their faces.

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13235325_10153609863488097_5675710442807339341_oOn top of all my client work, I began to prepare for an art show I had signed up for at a local bar. I was consumed by it. So many nights I woke up from dreams where I had concepts for photos and images. Some days I felt as if I was going insane.

In the past Ashley and I held several art shows, however this was my first solo show. I did all the shooting and editing while Ashley was pursuing her schooling.

I did a series of band posters. I used a combination of film, digital, along with Photoshop to create these.

For years I have been creating images in Photoshop using layers of multiple images. These were a combination of film and digital.

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I wanted to be an “anti-artist”. Not in the sense that I was mocking art, but rather mocking the artist who takes himself too seriously. I didn’t take myself seriously at all. I had a blast creating these images.

The show was great. I felt like a legit artist for the first time ever. I believe that in order to truly become an artist, you have to become vulnerable. I did that and I laughed about it.

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Then. All at once. It was over. Winter. Everything stopped.

As an artist I go through periods of ups and downs. I know who I am behind a camera. It’s how I see the world. It’s how I define myself. But in my downtime, I get lost.

I began to learn something about myself. Something about my personality. I need to work. I need a mountain to climb. I am driven by nature and I am not happy standing still. This was a very powerful realization. At 30 years old I was a late bloomer. I spent the decade of my 20’s building a business just to turn my back on it. I thought I wanted to have a normal life.

I was wrong.

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